That's the Oasis.

Hi, lovelies!!! Completely exhausted at this point. But, I thought I should give some information concerning my audition...last night? Whatever night that was. I swear, they're all blending into a blur because my days are the same.

Anyway, it was awesome. I had ALL FIVE of them chuckling during my comedic monologue, which is kind of the point, I suppose. Also, I didn't kill my knee until after (I'll explain in a moment). The dramatic one could have gone a bit better, but I memorized that thing in a day. Less than a day. I didn't start memorizing until after rehearsal had ended on Tuesday. I'm getting way good at this, by the way. Should be a bit terrifying how fast my brain is starting to just click with this whole acting thing but it's just exhilarating for now. Also, I'm well aware of how much I can learn but that's all I'm doing and it's so nice to just have me hands-on-learning again. But I did react and I think that's why my favorite line from The Alchemist is "That's the oasis." It's not the most profound and it's not the most interesting thing that I say, but I am reacting and responding to the other actors instead of just telling my story, which is why I hate monologues. They're completely taken out of context and you have to imagine what has been going on previously. I suppose that's why they're a good thing to audition with but at the same time, ugh. There is no clear context. I like the context and the responding and auditioning monologues frustrate me because there is neither of those two in reality with auditioning monologues.

So about the knee thing. I've explained that I'm a very physical actor, yes? Well, for the Twelfth Night monologue, there's this part where Viola says "O Time, thou must untangle this, not I; it is far too hard a knot for me to untie". On the O Time part, I just dropped to my knees one time when I was practicing it for my audition for Midsummer and I decided that that was a good call. When I auditioned, I didn't realize the floor was concrete and I hit it hard enough for me to forget what the rest of the lines were after O Time because it hurt like a motherless goat. I also gasped out the O Time in a pain filled wheeze.
This time, in an effort to not completely bruise up my knee again (I apparently lead with the right one), I bent my knees a bit and then dropped. Much less painful even though I still had to shake out my legs. So, there I was, feeling all pleased with myself  that I hadn't bruised my knees. Later that night when I tried to jump up on my bed (it requires a bit of a launch), I apparently pulled my right knee up a bit too far and I slammed it into my bedframe.
Let me tell you. That hurt. That was excruciating. I started hollering and writhing on my bed and I have no idea what I said other than at one point I did say "Son of a motherless goat who has no uncle". And thus, I still managed to bruise my right knee up that night because I am incredibly clumsy.
Oh, and the audition for the student film is this Saturday. I'm thinking of doing my Twelfth Night one again (as it seems to be becoming my go to monologue) and also something actually from TV or film. Hey, the person wants contrasting. TO MY SEARCH FOR MONOLOGUES!!!!!!!

When I find out if callback is yay or nay, I'll let y'all know. A bientot!!

When you cannot go back, you need only worry about the best way of moving forward.

So, lovelies, I'm sure you're impatiently waiting for the results of the callback.


Aaaaaaaaaaaaand...


I didn't get a part. And that's fine. Yes, I was a little disappointed but I'm adjusting to acting well and that isn't the only play I'll ever have the opportunity to do nor will this be the only time I will get the chance to be in it. You can't just fulfill all your dreams at once. Where would be the fun in that?

The best way for me to move forward is to do more auditions. So that's exactly what I'm doing. I signed up for an audition for Winter's Tale for tomorrow (the first round was tonight and the second is tomorrow night). I'm supposed to have two contrasting Shakespeare monologues for it. So I'm going to use the comedic one from Twelfth Night and I found one from Antony and Cleopatra that is super depressing. So, there are my contrasting monologues. I'm having a lot of fun with the depressing one because I'm getting to utilise the proud, noble part of my personality.This one I can just instinctively feel. I can feel her pain and her fierce pride and her despair. The queen who had everything and lost it all. I picked this one because it drew me.
We're supposed to explore ourselves in our roles and auditions. This one interests me and I want to get that one in touch.

So I have that audition tomorrow and Saturday, I'm doing an audition for a student film. That one is kind of wigging me out but I know that I look good on video, much better than in pictures. And I can be confident. I just need to figure out my second monologue for that. But I can do that after the audition tomorrow.

It is my birthright!

I love callbacks. I hate monologues. If I could audition with something other than monologues, I'd be super happy. Buuuuuttttttt...

Seriously, that was so much fun. It was feeding off of emotions I was getting from the other people. It was being able to be that loud dramatic person that I usually hide and tone down and not feel self conscious about it. It was incredible and two hours long and the time passed so quickly. It startled me when I saw what time it was.

And because of that experience, I want to audition more. I want to interact with more actors and work with them. I'm not super friendly but I am when I'm put in a group because there's no point in not being friendly. I'm also willing to talk to pretty much anyone. I probably won't initiate the conversation though.

But I got to stretch some acting legs that I didn't know I had and that was amazing. It just fueled that hunger and determination and pure desire to learn. They may have a lot more experience than I do. And that's okay. Because acting has claimed my soul, whatever's left of it. I don't do things halfway. I do or don't and because there are so many different opportunities to learn and such, this is going to stay on the do for a long while. How can I get bored when there are so many new things? I can't and that's the important thing. I get bored so easily with constant routine.

I can do this. I can. I will. And I will take the world by storm because I have a conqueror's soul and a healer's heart. Hello, world! You're mine, or you will be.

Ooh, I should put a quote from Loki up as my title...

Besides which you see, I have confidence in me!

So, my lovelies, as I'm sure you read from the last post, I got a callback for A Midsummer Night's Dream.
First of all, I'd just like to say how scary it is that I'm adjusting to auditioning as well as I am. Third audition in, I've got a minor part in a little play thing (it's awesome and perfect to give me hope because I'll never forget that first part) and a callback for a much, much bigger one. First audition, terrified out of my wits and I flopped miserably. Second audition, I didn't give myself time to be nervous and cold reads will probably be the way to go for me, at least for a little bit until I get used to it. Third audition, Shakespearean comedic monologue which I picked from Twelfth Night. That's the one you might remember from a few posts back that means something to me because of my sister. Go check that post out. It was awesome and I'm not just saying that because I wrote the post.
I would just like to admit here since I haven't admitted it to anyone yet, I was mimicking the style of one of the actresses from the London company that was here for Much Ado About Nothing for a couple of the lines. I didn't even realize I was doing it, until I heard her voice repeat the monologue I did for the first audition in my head. After that, I was trying to put more me into it. It might have worked. It might not have. But whatever I did, it was enough to get me a callback and now I need to figure out what I did so I can mimic it. Obviously, they liked what I did, so I need to...essentially mimic myself almost mimicking someone else. Wow... Chaos.
Anyway, Midsummer Night's Dream is done by the touring company here at BYU and is one of the official plays here. In fact, it's one of the plays that is $2 with the freshman arts card thing. That's how big it is. And I think they're doing the tours for the elementary schools in the area. Have I mentioned how I am terrified of children under the age of five? Three is borderline freak-out. Five is manageable but still super wigged. Also, do you know how good that will look on a resume? Seriously, I get a part in this production and that is getting added to my resume faster than you can say "a flibberty gibbet, a will-o-the-wisp, a clown". It's completely legit. I'm also hoping to do an audition for a student film tomorrow night and I'll do it as late as possible after the callbacks so I just need to brush up on my a) monologues from Audition 1, b) my lines for The Alchemist, and c) the tips I've picked up about callbacks.
And there's a new episode of Z Nation tomorrow night (super excited but super sad at the same time). Saturday, I've got rehearsals for Alchemist. I have a paper due on Monday on Waiting for Godot. I'll have Chem homework for Saturday. Studying for history and getting the notes from my friend. Also, I have to get around to doing visiting teaching for relief society because the month is over next week and...that's bad. But good because that means I turn 19 in less than two weeks. Mission age. ...And still no desire. Okay, well then, back to whatever this post is...

If it sounds like I've got a thousand things going on at once, I do. Or at least it feels like it. But as opposed to school work, which drowns me, this feels like a challenge and I do love a challenge. Besides, I'm on a deadline here. If I want to have the possibility of being in Z Nation, which got renewed for another season and I might have a shot at it, then I need to get an agent. If I can get an agent (I also read up that you don't want to put everything you've ever been in on the resume so if I have only a couple of things and one or two of them is filmed, I'll be golden) (I'm also super friendly and charming on the first meeting most of the time, especially when it's important like this), then I can request to have the ear put down for anything remotely related to Z Nation.
I flip between wondering what the heck I'm doing and feeling completely sure that I can do this. This is terrifying. I'm not sure I can express just how terrifying it is because I'm trying to not focus on this. I cannot let fear distract me. Because I'm leaving my comfort zone far, far behind and some days, I wonder why I'm doing that. Then I remember that I don't want to settle and I don't want to just be okay, and I don't want to survive. I want to live.
Living entails taking risks and, baby, I'm from Vegas. Sort of. It's gambler's paradise there. I've done the big city. I've done the small city. I was born in a college town and spent the important years (the ones that helped to super shape my personality) on a farm. I'm as well rounded in that respect as a person needs.
Bring. It. On. Because I will rise to the challenge.
To everyone who is reading this, thank you. You all rock. No, really. You are amazing individuals and I like having you guys here. I don't know if you actually care or you just find me amusing or you want to watch me crash and burn or you actually want me to succeed, and I'm not getting anything, but I enjoy knowing that for whatever reason, people are reading this. Seriously, I'm easy to find. Twitter, I'm @brookeaharding. I'm on Tumblr (which may actually be linked to my Twitter account, I'd have to check to be certain). I'm on Instagram even though I don't do much with it. I'm on Facebook. Send me a DM (or whatever that term is) or tweet at me and tell me stuff. It doesn't even have to be remotely related to this blog. Just say something like "The sky is purple and the words are great". And then tell me about your day or your week. Or just whatever. I want to interact with you guys. If you guys don't feel comfortable, that's fine. Trust me, I get it.

But for now, adieu because the sun has gone to bed and so must I. And I leave you with the beautiful sounds of Julie Andrews' voice:
I Have Confidence

You grabbed a coma patient?

I just got a callback for Midsummer Night's Dream.

I'm not sure we realize how excited I am.

I'll put up a post after I'm finished with my chemistry homework because as much as I would like it, school is still happening.

You know who does that? Crazy people. We are insane.

Well, I'm pretty sure that I'm insane. But I asked for as many opportunities as possible this year and I'm getting them thrown at me so I'm not going to complain. Also, it's my favorite play and there is no way on this planet that I'm going to give up the opportunity to perform it.
In the middle of The Alchemist and I'm auditioning for Midsummer Night's Dream. Yup. I'm going there. We're performing Alchemist on November 13th (not a Friday, unfortunately) and MN'sD isn't getting performed until February sometime I don't think. So I'm going to bet that auditions and callbacks are going to take some time and then they have to get the rehearsal schedule set up so about the same time that that is happening, we should be finishing up and getting ready to perform. In theory, I should be okay to do both. I'll be jumping from one into the other but whatever. Also, I'm trying to memorize my lines (all four of them...) for Alchemist but I've almost got them down. On top of that, I have to memorize a 1-2 minute Shakespeare comedic monologue. SHAKESPEARE!!!! I'm thinking Twelfth Night or Taming of the Shrew since I'm somewhat familiar with those stories and I don't really want to do Much Ado About Nothing because we had that performed for us and it'll be prominent in people's minds.

And I'm 95% sure I'm going to be switching majors because there is no way I'll be able to emotionally handle not being able to soothe the world's ills and learning about them analytically. I guess this is the price I pay for opening up my emotions for acting. I can't help everyone and it sucks. So yeah. I'm going to go do homework and study for my history midterm. And pray. There will definitely be some praying happening.

Peace out!!

Life is short.

It's a good day today so I thought I'd put a picture up. Even if I'm dog tired and getting over being sick. That, by the way, is why I haven't put anything up recently. Seriously, I hate getting sick. It just hits my lungs first and it's ridiculously difficult to get rid of anything.

But, hi! That's me! Brooke Harding, in the flesh. Sort of. I figured you guys should know sort of what I look like in an impromptu picture (ignoring the one from Universal because ugh, I hate pictures) since I have people that actually read this. That's still just incredible to me and from so many different countries. My hat goes off to you. Well, if I was wearing a hat. You get my meaning. And just so you guys know, my eyes are actually more blue than that. They look super grey in that picture but whatever. Hi, again, friends!!

I had my first rehearsal Thursday. I was going to post something but again, Brooke was sick. It took me a little bit just because I had absolutely no idea what was going but I got into the swing of things. I nearly whacked the guy who is playing Santiago in the chest with my arm when I was feeling anger at being robbed. He figured out quickly that even though I don't do much movement normally, as soon as I start acting something out, my entire body gets used. I knew that just because of what I've done with the worlds I created in my head. I've thrown myself to the ground, I've run into trees, I get very physical for something that isn't actually happening. 

But I've also discovered how easily I feed off external emotion. I generate emotion on my own, but it is ridiculously easy for me to feed off of someone else's. Which could technically fall under the category of mob mentality but I'd like to imagine that it's just a useful acting trait. My loud voice is inherited and I've had theatre teachers ask me if I'm in theatre. I had to say no because up until this year, I was in choir. I was pretty awesome at it. My claim to performing fame at this point in my life is I have performed on stage during an actual concert with Barry Manilow. I was one of the people on a mic too. That was amazing. I'll have to do a post dedicated to that because wow. (Side note, I just ran screeching down the hall because one of the executive producers of Z Nation (my new addiction and holy crap, I sincerely want to be on it so I need to start talking to people) reblogged one of my posts on Tumblr)

I'm realizing all of these traits that I've picked up over the years and ones that I've had forever that are absolutely perfect for acting and it scares and exhilarates me all at the same time. It's that feeling you get on a roller coaster when you're looking down at a big drop. At least that's how it is for me. It's amazing. I love this feeling. 

Oh, and in case any of you were wondering, I told my parents that I a) didn't want to go into the FBI anymore which is a good thing because I couldn't emotionally take not being able to help everyone (learned that in Sociology today) and b) that I want to be an actor. Which I technically am now. They took it a lot better than I was dreading and I'm getting the familial support and that's incredibly important since part of the reason I'm doing this is so I can help my family. So that's a huge weight off my shoulders. My family knows. My grandma (it's so adorable and a little annoying) is now concerned that I'm going to be used and I'm going to start drinking and doing drugs and it just amuses me because I'm not the granddaughter that she should be worrying about. My addictions run more to books and TV and movies and video games. I don't even like how Advil makes me feel. Why on earth would I do drugs or drink alcohol?

Sorry, really tired and completely excited. I just... I know what can be and I feel like I'm not doing anything to work on it. Yeah, school is important and everything. But I really do feel like it's trying to distract me. And I'm really looking forward to Thursday nights now because I've gotten my first taste of actual acting that's not in English class (or French, but that's a whole different can of worms) and I earnestly want more. I want to break the limits of my horizons. I'm starting with The Alchemist. Who knows where I can go from here?

It's The Possibility of Having A Dream That Makes Life Interesting

So my first read through is tonight. We were talking about makeup in theatre today, which is absolutely fascinating but not something I'm interested in doing. Just learning about.
Buuuuut it's still absolutely fascinating.
The more shows I'm starting to watch, the more I want to be in them to the point that it physically hurts.

I'll do another post when I get back and I actually have the computer up and going. Eep!

And When You Want Something, All The Universe Conspires In Helping You To Achieve It.

And here's the announcement that you've all been waiting for. Can I have a drum roll? Okay, fine I don't need a drum roll.
But I am VERY pleased to announce that I have landed my first part. Ever. And the first of many, I hope, because everyone needs to start somewhere. I think it's going to be tiny (at least I hope so because I want to minimize my stress) but who cares?

I am Camel Driver in The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. According to SparkNotes, my character description is "Camel Driver - A friendly former orchard owner and devout Muslim who feels content with his life despite losing his orchard in a flood. He has made the pilgrimage to Mecca and lives his life in service of omens from God." I'm waiting on the script and the rehearsal times and stuff but how cool is this? Second audition and I got a role. Just...I dunno. Like just the idea of it is completely terrifying. And exhilarating. And I get to bury myself in the life of someone else.
So I'm immersing myself in The Alchemist and the beautiful thing about it, the omen if you will, is that it's about your Personal Legend and how the heart knows your Personal Legend but gets quieter and quieter the older we get because it doesn't want us to suffer from not fulfilling it. But if we listen to the Soul of the World and listen to the omens and follow them, then we will know our Personal Legend and be able to fulfill them. This story speaks to my heart in ways that few others have. It is incredibly profound and lovely and something from which to learn. Because sometimes it's not the destination that's important, but the journey and what you learn and do while on it.
I'm pretty sure I've mentioned some of the things that have happened when I've been doubting or questioning. I suppose they can be taken as coincidences but I don't believe in coincidences. I never have. I'm taking this as one of those signs because what are the odds that my first role will be in a story that is telling the story of following your heart and dreams? And not just that, but my first role is someone who follows the signs that are given to him. How can that not be a sign to me, that this is what I am supposed to be doing? If I follow the omens that the hand that created the universe is giving me, I will do what I am meant to and I will find my happy ending.

I know that we each have something that we are supposed to do and I implore all of you to search your hearts and find it and remember, or if you already know it, take the leap of faith and fulfill it, no matter what it takes and no matter what others say. Listen to the Soul of the World and you will learn all that you need to to fulfill your Personal Legend. Please. We can succeed together and I want all of you to succeed too. Look for the omens and follow your hearts.