“Learn the way and find your own way.”

Next year, if I decide to take that year off, because I'm already enrolled in BYU, I can take online courses, so that I'm not totally behind in my studies. No matter what happens, there is no way I'm not getting my degree. I don't know where life is going to take me so having that as a backup is a good idea for me. It's a good idea for anyone. Plus, I'm not sure my pride could take it if I didn't continue to work on my degree. Of the seven deadly sins, pride is definitely my poison. I can shrug off the others, no problem. But pride is just one of those things I've always had and I've learned to harness it. Mostly.

But enough about that. The classes, other than my sociology and theatre classes (which considering those are my major and minor classes might be bad), that I was planning on taking next year I could take online if I so chose. I don’t think y’all understand how much of a relief that is. Or maybe you do. But that way I can still keep up on my studies regardless.

We made a living biological attractions so astonishing they'll capture the imagination of the entire planet!

Welcome to Jurassic Park

I got depressing news today. I was upset about Robin Williams' death. Vaguely. But while I enjoyed the movies he was in, he wasn't as much a part of my childhood as this man. You should all be aware by this point of how much I love Jurassic Park.
This is hard for me to say. Richard Attenborough died today. As far as I can tell, he lived a full, good life. A long one too. But that still doesn't change the fact that that information was devastating. And now I understand how everyone else felt.

But, that doesn't change anything. So I just wanted to share something that plays in my head when I hear his name. That is my favorite part of the movie and it makes me cry every time. That music, man.
Richard Attenborough was my TV grandpa. He was the one who made my precious dinosaurs. And I always wanted to meet John Hammond (not the book version because he was kind of a dick). Jurassic Park awakened my dreams just as reality awakened his.

Thank you, Richard Attenborough. Thank you for helping my dreams.

What, should I hurt her, strike her, kill her dead? Although I hate her, I'll not harm her so.

Ooh, two in like a week. How fantastic. And this one is more...substantial? Not just me complaining about whatever.
I'm not a big fan of reading plays. But then, plays are not meant to be read. They're meant to be performed.

Background information (and I get to talk about my sister a bit who may just be an unexpected source of support, I found out recently):
She was the one in theatre. My brother did the band thing and I did the choir thing half a century later. No, it wasn't really that long, but it can seem like that long when there's an average of ten years between you and your siblings. So really, all of us did the performing thing. I don't remember much of Anne's and I remember absolutely none of my brother's. She was a sophomore?...junior maybe in high school which would have put me at the grand old age of five or six. And I don't remember exactly what play it was. I remember two things about it, well three technically. First, after the performance, she got a really lovely bouquet of roses and the white...lady's breath? Maiden's breath? Baby's breath. Something. The tiny white flower things. She also got a Barbie dressed in Ken's clothes, which she passed on to me. I did get the humor of that though, so I wasn't completely lost even though I remember being fascinated by being in the big room and the lights and the people and I wasn't totally paying attention to what was going on.
Second, the play was about a girl who was dressed up as a guy and it was Shakespeare. Which according to Google makes it Twelfth Night. That, strangely enough, was not one of the ones that I've read and while I can't remember the titles of any except Midsummer Night's Dream and the ones we did in school, I've read a few of the less well known ones. That isn't one of them.
Third, my sister was the lead role, hence the Barbie. And I was super proud of her.

And because I was more into dinosaurs at the time (and truly, I still am), it didn't make much of an impact on me other than I was just fascinated by my sister NOT being my sister and being someone else and looking like someone else. But, I was distractable and I didn't understand and I still wanted to be an archaeologist. Then again, it wasn't too long after that when I changed my mind and wanted to be an actress so that I could have the experiences (albeit fake ones, but that was my logic). Thinking about it now means that that had more of an impact than I recognized, much like Matt Smith's performance as the Doctor in Doctor Who, although this time I was aware enough to recognize the impact.

Why am I rambling on about this random memory from the depths of my childhood? I'll tell you why. I just got the schedule for my school's theatre program. And TWO of them are Shakespeare. One of them is my favorite play of his, the aforementioned Midsummer Night's Dream. We did short performances of sections of that in 7th grade (hence the reason why I love it so much). Good memories of that. The kid that I wished would leave the state wore a dress, I was in a group with my friends (I was Lysander). Good memories. And I still remember some of my lines, which I think is the impressive thing. But do you realize how amazing that would be, for me to be in my absolute favorite play and one that I already understand?  DO YOU REALIZE?? I know, I know. probably won't happen and I should brace myself for disappointment. BUT, one can dream.. And if you don't take risks, then you won't get rewards. Besides, it'll be good for me. Tap into that side of my personality, so to speak.
Yeah. So, I'll talk to y'all later! Ciao!

Oh, and the title of this is from a Midsummer Night's Dream and was my favorite line to say... Yeah...

"I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and dreamer of improbable dreams."

My problem, right now, is that my family doesn't understand. Well, my mother and my aunt sort of do. Saturday, the 23rd of August is coming, and BBC America is, as we all know, having a Doctor Who marathon to prepare for the new Doctor AND the new season. It's not just the fact that it's Doctor Who and kind of a big deal, which the aunt that I'm living with right now doesn't get. But there's just something about this show that just lets you dream. And maybe that's just because I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me. The aunt I'm living with...There's about forty year age difference, a temperament difference, a personality difference. Really, you'd have no idea that we were related. We don't even look similar, although, I look strikingly similar to her youngest daughter and have a similar personality. My aunt also doesn't have what I affectionately call the Yorgesen fire. She just sort of lives and works. It's kind of sad, really, and it makes me more determined than I thought possible to NOT become her. She says she's going to change (byproduct of her son-in-law's untimely death) but I haven't seen her make the decision to do so or the result of that. Crap, this one was not going to be one of these.
Anyway, I just want to get out of here. I need to be around people who will accept the odd streaks in my personality, including the obsessive part. I need to start living again, and dreaming, and allowing myself to dream.
Because, damn it, my particular dreams may not fit into everyone's plans, but when do they ever? When do dreams EVER fit into plans? They don't. My family wants me to settle into a stable job, probably get married, yadi-yadi-yada. I understand it, sort of. We have enough instability in my family right now. But if this gamble works out, and it will because there is nothing I can't do once I put my mind to it, then I'll be able to help ease some of the instability. I've never been much of a gambler and everyone knows it. But I thrive on impulses and instinct and I'm just as likely to keep my feet on the ground as I am to jump.

Oh, so update on the acting thing. I...may not be returning to college next year. I've been thinking about it, and I just have this feeling like I need to be out there. It's more like this panicked "go go go go go go go go" feeling. I'm supposed to be going to BYU because of what has fallen into place because I decided to go there. But I don't know how long. We'll see when I get towards the end of the year. But just a heads up to whoever thinks I'm worth following that you may get a post in a few months that'll probably be super short and holy crap, I'll probably be disowned if I do that. And if you're following this just waiting for me to crash and burn and give up, thank you. And I mean that with all sincerity.

Let's see what the world has in store for us, eh? Allons-y!

We're All Stories In The End. Just Make It A Good One, Eh?

Completely ignoring the fact that...well...I have limited experience acting, I think there needs to be something said for the fact that I think in trailers and scenes. That's how I write too, which is a problem occasionally, well more than occasionally.
Oh, but that's not the point. Sorry, I'm tired tonight and I might not make much sense. But here goes nothing.
I've always had a creative imagination. My cousin made a comment a couple of weeks ago about how most people have imaginary friends in their childhoods. And that got me thinking back and remembering my own childhood. I never had an imaginary friend. I was my imaginary friend. Let me explain that. The memory that always springs to mind is my little hand, dinosaur...things. I created stories and worlds and stuff for them. I did the same with my stuffed animals, putting myself into their stories. I acted those stories out. I've always been doing that, ever since I can remember. I've been a dragon, a cat, a dinosaur, a warrior princess, an owl. My mom has one memory in particular of when we were driving home, I asked her what color dragon she was that day and then proceeded to explain why I thought I was the color I was (I think I was dark blue) and what color I thought she was. So, yeah. I've always been different people, acting them and their stories out on my own. I can't tell you how many bruises and scrapes I've given myself from falling on the ground and thrashing around to act out a scene for whatever story I happened to be telling at that time.
I'm a story teller, but my world lies in the realm of kinesthetics and words. That's how I learn, through seeing and action and that's how I tell my stories.
You and I, my friends, we stand at the pinnacle of human achievement. We continue to move forward in all forms of learning and teaching and most importantly, telling stories. And that is what I want most of all. Even if they aren't my stories, I feel like all stories have the right to be told. No matter the person and no matter the story.