My problem, right now, is that my family doesn't understand. Well, my mother and my aunt sort of do. Saturday, the 23rd of August is coming, and BBC America is, as we all know, having a Doctor Who marathon to prepare for the new Doctor AND the new season. It's not just the fact that it's Doctor Who and kind of a big deal, which the aunt that I'm living with right now doesn't get. But there's just something about this show that just lets you dream. And maybe that's just because I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me. The aunt I'm living with...There's about forty year age difference, a temperament difference, a personality difference. Really, you'd have no idea that we were related. We don't even look similar, although, I look strikingly similar to her youngest daughter and have a similar personality. My aunt also doesn't have what I affectionately call the Yorgesen fire. She just sort of lives and works. It's kind of sad, really, and it makes me more determined than I thought possible to NOT become her. She says she's going to change (byproduct of her son-in-law's untimely death) but I haven't seen her make the decision to do so or the result of that. Crap, this one was not going to be one of these.
Anyway, I just want to get out of here. I need to be around people who will accept the odd streaks in my personality, including the obsessive part. I need to start living again, and dreaming, and allowing myself to dream.
Because, damn it, my particular dreams may not fit into everyone's plans, but when do they ever? When do dreams EVER fit into plans? They don't. My family wants me to settle into a stable job, probably get married, yadi-yadi-yada. I understand it, sort of. We have enough instability in my family right now. But if this gamble works out, and it will because there is nothing I can't do once I put my mind to it, then I'll be able to help ease some of the instability. I've never been much of a gambler and everyone knows it. But I thrive on impulses and instinct and I'm just as likely to keep my feet on the ground as I am to jump.
Oh, so update on the acting thing. I...may not be returning to college next year. I've been thinking about it, and I just have this feeling like I need to be out there. It's more like this panicked "go go go go go go go go" feeling. I'm supposed to be going to BYU because of what has fallen into place because I decided to go there. But I don't know how long. We'll see when I get towards the end of the year. But just a heads up to whoever thinks I'm worth following that you may get a post in a few months that'll probably be super short and holy crap, I'll probably be disowned if I do that. And if you're following this just waiting for me to crash and burn and give up, thank you. And I mean that with all sincerity.
Let's see what the world has in store for us, eh? Allons-y!
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